Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Review - My Bloody Valentine 3D

An inexperienced coal miner, Tom Hanniger, caused an accident that killed five men and left one in a coma. After awakening from the coma one year later on Valentines Day, Harry Warden went on a revenge-filled killing spree with a pickaxe, dismembering 22 people in the small mining community. 10 years later bodies are once again piling up and the victims look like they have been murdered by the infamous coal miner killer, Harry Warden. Whose to blame? The small coal town must find out before they all find themselves dead.

"My Bloody Valentine 3D" is a brutally violent and a eye-popping good time, which is unfortunately weak on script and dialogue, but really delivers in gore, gimmicks and enjoyment! Directed by Patrick Lussier (White Noise 2: The Light), who has definately gotten a hell of a lot better at refining the art. His only other theatrically released film Dracula 2000, was a disaster from start to finish but here with "My Bloody Valentine 3D," the usually straight-to-dvd director has accomplished a decent effort at remaking, a not so good original. In fact, the update is far superior to the original, which cannot be said for most horror remakes.

"My Bloody Valentine 3D" is completely and utterly a gimmick horror film. What makes it better than just a device horror flick, is that for the most part the film keeps you completely engaged, on the edge of your seat and rolls along a great pace. The film is ultra violent and has some wicked kills, that would have horror legends like Jason, Freddy or even Michael Myers saying, "Oh Shit!" The 3D in the film is brilliant and every kill that involves an eye ball, a heart or Harry Warden's pickaxe coming at you is a lot of fun and tickles the senses endlessly.

Unfortunately, the same excitement cannot be given to the script writing or most of the performances. Todd Farmer, who has written stickers including Jason X or The Messengers mamed the dialogue and added lame twists that were instantly apparent. There are a couple plot holes, but these gripes can be easily forgotten, especially when considering you are paying to see a 3D gimmick horror flick. Furthermore, I expected a lot worse from the film and was pleased with the outcome.

The performances are very lackluster, execpt Richard John Walters as Harry Warden. Walters, obviously has a minimum speaking role, but he is pure badass behind the mask with a pickaxe in his hands. Just like other horror icons, Warden sends tingles up your spine at the sight of him. His overbearing size and demeanor also add to the overall meancing approach and look of Harry Warden. Jensen Ackles as Tom Hanniger and Kerr Smith as Axel Palmer are pretty bad throughout and may surprise the viewer that they even made it through casting calls. Kerr Smith definately shows why he hasn't been seen much since Dawson's Creek ended and Ackles looked to have a hard time handling the simplest of scenes. Again, all of the acting shortcomings and bad script developments go overlooked, because the gore and mayhem is just too much fun!

It goes without saying that seeing the film in 3D is a must. Seeing the 2D version would seem like a waste and would probably drop this film down a bit. That said, even without the 3D effects, the kills are gut-wrenching and provide utlimate thrill. "My Bloody Valentine 3D" is a perfect date movie and a decent remake that had a lot of potential which resulted in creating a thrill ride that didn't let down on it's gimmick or enjoyment.